Anatomy of an Accident

This is my sad boy Henry after a very sad event which has left everyone wondering what to do and whom to blame.

The facts: My mother was suppose to care for Henry over the weekend while I was away in DC. She forgot she needed to leave on a trip on Sunday through Wednesday. She asked Amanda to care for Henry at Michelle's house where Amanda was caring for Michelle's two Australian Shepherds- one of whom has some Henry specific aggressions. Somehow Ty was able to slip in to Michele's backyard where Henry was playing with Coco and bite him several times in the nether regions. This necessitated a trip to the emergency vets and an overnight stay to be sure that he didn't require abdominal surgery and that his urethra hadn't been severed.

Now the embellishing: Some of the words a"mother" does not want to hear- soft tissue trauma, surgery, severed, it's okay he is sedated now, multiple puncture wounds.

He came out Monday morning and was fine, or as fine as a dog with multiple puncture wounds could be. I was much relieved and was able to somewhat enjoy the rest of my vacation. But that is where the deep thinking came in. I had already received tearful calls from Amanda & Michelle thinking it was all their faults. I am still waiting for the arrival of my mother on Wednesday who might also think it was her fault. Of course, I realize it is all my fault simply because I was born. This terrible blaming and guilt weighs heavy on me. Especially as Michelle's husband is also sure it is Michelle's fault and that "something needs to be done." I am afraid of what that "something" might be.

The truth is that choices were made all along the way, no one ever suspecting that their small part in the decision making was going to add up to a tragic accident. No one made those choices with the intent of causing a tragic accident. People just made the best possible choices at the time. I am just relieved that my little, big man after a painful healing process is probably going to be the same old goofy mutt he has always been. I was likewise gladdened when he wagged his tail going into the vet's office this afternoon in anticipation of a chance interlude with some terrifically smelly and happy dog in the waiting area. He whined with anticipation. I love my dog.

I also have an inkling why families fall apart after the death of a child. Guilt is a terrible thing.