Wednesday, February 25, 2009

It’s A Beautiful Morning….to-do-dooh!

My friend JAF was telling me about waking up at 3:30 yesterday morning, despite sleep aids (I love euphemisms. I even love the word euphemism.)  I told her that I wake up any time between 3:30 and 5:30. It is just the time that my body wants to wake up. She had a hard time processing this information. Actually- I think she had a hard time processing the attitude. For her, waking up at 3:30 is a terrible event to be avoided at all costs-even with the use of sleep aids.

Once my mind starts humming there is no point in laying in bed. It  has been my defining trait and my curse. My brain will get stuck in loops of endless lists, forgotten items, imagined feelings and great ideas- thus, my profile: “I think too much.” I often wonder if the inside of other people’s heads looks like mine.

I was reading Smith Kaich Jones’ post on why she blogs. She talks about looking for a release from her anxiety through blogging. While she has always defined herself as an artist, she has discovered that she is really a writer. I connect with her journey, it feels like mine….. right down to the plague of anxieties.

Relief from my spinning head is a wonderful side benefit, but I have found that the exercise of writing is really an exercise in creativity. It hones the skill of communicating what is the shared human experience. I am not looking for accolades, but I love the feedback because it lets me know when I have touched a nerve- the shared feeling.

So, here it is, 3 AM. I have been up since 2. It’s a beautiful, quiet, lovely and thought provoking morning.


Michelle said...

And here I am am, up since 4am, in Michelle time that is almost rquivelent to being up since 2am. You truly are a weird chick, but I still love you. I think you are rubbing off on me!

SMC said...

Nothing like a little excitement for the possibilities of a day to get you out of bed early!

Michelle said...

Though clearly at 4am, I am bleary eyed and not the best typist.

smith kaich jones said...

I have been getting up earlier lately (I don't think I can really say waking up, because I stumble around & trip over things & curse quite a bit) but once I am not asleep, shall we say, that's it. No use fighting it. I have not yet grown to like this - I wonder if it's a sign I'm growing old, I wonder if it's a sign I'm depressed, I wonder if it's the dreaded menopause - but I am trying. I have seen the sky turn from black to pink to blue several times this month, which has been pretty wonderful, so perhaps I'll enter the acceptance phase of this new behavior soon. We shall see.

And PS - Thanks for chiming in about the the anxiety thing. It's so hard to understand if you haven't experienced it. I took me years to be able to admit to people that I dealt with this, and it's been amazing to discover how many others deal with it also. Again, thanks.

:) Debi

JAF said...

I have always said that sleeping, and particularly a good NIGHT's sleep, never mind a nap, is entirely underrated...aren't you soooooooo tired? I wake to the same predators -- the lists, the forgotten things, the anxieties....and it's one of the reasons why I don't go to bed at night -- I don't want to be alone with them (I call it the toothache can live with it all day when you're distracted by what you think is important and then all of a sudden, you lie down in the dark, and it's just you and your tooth.) I think you're right though, maybe tomorrow morning, I'll just get up. Well, maybe I'll try it on Saturday morning. This is definitely a sweeping change in mindset.