Plumbing the Depths of My Nerdiness

So I decided to plumb the depths of my nerdiness by rereading Sarah Vowell's The Wordy Shipmates which I had lent to my friend Louise. It wasn't due back at the library for two days. There are so many historical characters and historical events she referenced that thought I would benefit from a second read.

The second time through I was once again struck by the figure of Anne Hutchinson. She was a Puritan who arrived around 1635 and immediately caused trouble. She was also a religious visionary and an exceedingly bright and outspoken woman.... so this references my previous post.

The unfortunate aspect of Anne Hutchinson as a historical character is she only exists through the words of others. She never wrote any tracts or pamphlets, she was not a magistrate or minister so no one thought to write her speeches down. And most of the people who wrote about her also hated her. So we get her side through the lens of another.

You can read some of the transcripts of her trial though. She comes off as a very skilled debater... as a matter of fact, she runs circles around the magistrates trying her. They were left with one course- be rid of this witch before she poisons the general population. The irony is that this crazed female visionary forced the hands of the local powers who thought they should establish a college to educate their populace (men) against the tyranny of ignorance. Soon after Harvard was established.

Now I am not a particular adherer to the "OMG, we are the downtrodden" school of feminist thought. I find it self defeating and not to mention, EXCEEDINGLY humorless. But I do find there are lessons to be learned from our past. So....step up to the plate or quit 'chur bitchin'.

My Mother, My Self

My mother is 72 and both a mentor for me and an occasional pain in my side, but she has taught me everything I know and she is still busy trying to teach me everything she knows. She is now retired and is throwing herself into whatever activities interest her. She is currently involved in an educational program for the elderly run through a small division of the state university. She called me the other day to ask about e-newsletters and how it might help this program promote their classes. She has been agitating for the school to make some changes and to update themselves. She let out a big sigh...... "I think I am just a loudmouth."

I could hear myself sigh. I had just been contemplating the possibility that I might be a loudmouth.... then I hear her admitting to a streak of loudmouthness. I am sure this must be genetic. Right when I had just gotten over the hurdle of looking like my mother, now I have to deal with behaving like her too?

This self reflection on loudmouthedness started about 3 weeks ago when I attended a board retreat for a non-profit I volunteer with. I feel I spoke up more than might be seemly... especially for a little old art major in a sea of lawyers and bankers. And this is my own twisted view of the world, but there was only one other woman on the board who spoke up with any kind of consistency and in a challenging way. I know the other women who serve are bright but they seem to lose their voice in these situations.

Sometimes I think I speak up not just to make a point but to get a seat at the table. If you don't speak up you are relegated to the role of do-er or assistant. Doing is a good and important thing.... someone has to get the work done, but I want to be part of the policy making. And I definitely see this as a gender based difference. A difference that I am not immune to..... so I struggle to behave like that woman I imagine myself to be.

Does this make me a pushy bitch loudmouth?