I Kinda Like This....

"I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best."

— Marilyn Monroe

Another Bossy Capricorn's Book Review

"Their Motives differed, and they moved in fits and starts, but gradually, guided to a surprising degree by a Church increasingly global in its outlook and imperial in its ambitions, their efforts fed into a collective quest for knowledge, power and wealth the likes of which had never been seen before."

I have just finished reading The Fourth Part of the World by Toby Lester- a book nominally about the first map to identify the New World as America, but more importantly about the age of discovery. The above quote from the final chapter brings to mind a rather animated electronic discussion I have been having with my Uncle Rufus regarding the Renaissance. His Masters thesis, which he received from Tufts during the mid-60's, doubted the existence of the Renaissance. My perspective on this period in history are through the eyes of art historians while, I am sure, his definition encompassed a broader perspective. The above quote neatly sums up the arc of the quest for worldly knowledge, the range of players, the roadblocks and passions which defined the Renaissance. This book defines the humanists and outlines their role in promulgating it.

As I look out across the Atlantic in an Easterly direction it is difficult to conceive of a world as small and insular as Europe in the 1200's. The world had contracted with the declines of the Roman & Greek empires, but not quite as much as our grade school history books would have us believe. The scientists of Europe were still in contact with their innovative Arabic counterparts and the Eastward reaching Holy Roman Empire despite the Church Schism and the Crusades. It is eye opening to learn that at no time was it accepted doctrine that the world was flat among the educated. This bit of hysteria was reserved for the hoi polloi- perhaps abetted by the sovereigns and the Church to keep them from remembering how hungry they were?

Ironically it is the Church who sped up the flow of information by calling for Church Councils to resolve the Papal and Church Schisms. By calling together all church potentates along with their retinues that numbered in the hundreds the Church brought together the best and the brightest of Europe who had nothing better to do but share knowledge, books and maps while the plenaries bickered about minutiae. It caused an explosion of knowledge sharing which was only enhanced by the soon to be invented Gutenberg press...... which in turn made this knowledge available in a cheap and freely traded format.

What I find fascinating about this book is the undeniable synergy of Church, commerce & scholarship which pushed the world forward in its understanding of itself. It is easy to dismiss any one of these factions as unimportant in the age of discovery- either pointy headed map makers without the heart of adventurers or the Church that is only interested in maintaining the status quo. This book dispels all those easy interpretations and replaces it with a nuanced view of the time.

Get thee to a library.

Smolder Alert

Henry and his best, brooding, romantic-lead gaze.

This past Saturday Michelle and Melissa came over to eat, drink and watch movies. We are suckers for a romantic movie- especially anything Jane Austen-ish. Melissa brought over a BBC production of North & South. We watched the first two hours Saturday evening- at which point we lost Michelle to her grueling work schedule. The next morning Melissa and I were able to watch the last two hours- after a 5 mile walk to make sure we didn't get blood clots from sitting on our arses for so long.

North & South is the story of a South England woman who is exiled to the industrial North, where she meets, and slowly falls in love, with a factory owner. The male lead is played by Richard Armitage. He leaves Pride & Prejudice's Colin Firth in the dust as far as the brooding male lead sorts. Mr Armitage has perpetually scowling brows and eyes that give away few secrets. In the final train scene he finally softens into a smile and you can hear the collective sploosh of every woman's heart dropping to the floor.

I can't quite figure out why many women, me included, like this theme of the hard won love. Woman are all about the chase, whereas men generally want to cut right to the chase. The chase is what makes women swoon.

I also detect the theme of complicated men being more desirable that seems to run through so much female-centered literature.

What's the scoop?

*The title refers to a line from a movie- Lost In Austen. A time traveling fan of Austen is enamored of a truly brooding send up of Darcy. Mediocre movie, good line.

Consumer Purchase as Transformational Talisman

Out with the old- in with the new!

I have been working up to my 48th birthday for about 6 months now. I don't buy into a "birth" day. I like to think of it as more of a birth season. It stretches over days, weeks and occasionally months. This time it has involved a lot of shopping, miscommunicating with my boyfriend and a general malaise.

When I feel unsettled I try to buy my way out of it. I believe if I find just the right object that makes me happy all will be right with the world again. It usually ends at a certain dollar amount or until the feeling passes. This time it has been a rather long spell that started in August.

Goodness knows what precipitated it. I am guessing the no-where-ness of turning 48, which is nearly 49, which is practically 50. It might also be that as a woman you tend to become invisible to men around this age. Funny- I have never needed their feedback for my self-esteem, but it becomes obvious that it is the age of transition to doyenne.

As I struggle with the imminent 50th birthday and the self regulation of my esteem my purchases have leaned heavily towards the fashion arena. It gives me the sense of putting a good face forward. Of someone who is keeping up and still giving it the old college try. I don't want to become the person who is only interested in being the most comfortable- or soon I would be the woman who is willing to wear sweatpants and Crocs in public. I am trying to postpone that phase as long as possible.
In my quest to stay engaged with the world and project the image of one who cares what others think I have forsaken my LL Bean slipons. They are easy and comfortable but they are worn, torn and make my feet look like a brown pillow held together with electrical tape. I purchased a pair of boots that made me gush to the salesperson about how wonderful they were to sell them to me. I slipped them on the next morning and felt beautiful with no one present to even behold their beauty. They are a transformational shoe purchase! And they are even Goretex- thus practical!

And here it is the day after my birthday. I not only feel more beautiful- I feel more settled too.

A Single Girl's Christmas

This is about the extent of my ability to vamp.

The boyfriend took off on his annual sojourn to Florida about a week early leaving me alone for Christmas this year. I didn't know what I would do for Christmas but I figured I would find someplace to go and someone to share the day with.

Christmas eve arrived and I was working the late shift at the gallery meaning I would have to stay until 2 to make sure everyone had picked up their last minute framing. At 1 pm an artist/friend stopped in to wish me a happy holiday on her return from food shopping. We started yakking and she suggested that a glass of wine would be nice. She also suggested a little cheese and crackers to make it truly celebratory. Out to the moving larder that is her car and she returned with the victuals and our party began.

After a while we both started whining about the sorry state of our wardrobes and how we had allowed ourselves to not dress up to the best of our abilities- all lubricated by a glass of wine. While we hadn't stooped to wearing sweat pants in public, we certainly were on the slippery slope of "well, this is good enough."

Two o'clock soon rolled around and we packed up my dog and headed over to a boutique that was having a big Christmas Eve sale. It is a store that I rarely go into because it specializes in tight, shiny, sparkly, ruffly clothes. My friend and I tried everything on, spurring each other onto ever more body conscious clothing. (Mind you- she is a size 4 and my height plus she takes ball room dancing classes which requires tight and shiny.) We helped a young man buy some necklaces for his wife and kibitzed with the other women who wandered through the shop. About 5 o'clock we made our choices, untangled my dog from a clothing rack and left giggling.

I walked out with a tight hip length angora sweater with a rather plunging v-neck (among other things). I teamed it up with a new lacy tank top and a low slung wide, black belt. It is a decidedly sexier look than I usually wear, but I thought it made me look a touch more continental. She left with a pile of skirts, sweaters and necklaces. We had a ball.... sort of Pretty Woman minus the man with the credit card. I think if I am going to be a single girl on Christmas Eve that this should become an annual tradition.

Now for a better pair of jeans.

Good Art, Bad Art

I believe I have written previously about how to tell good art from bad art. Many people are stymied by this skill and think that experts are trying to pull the wool over their eyes. A good rule of thumb is if it makes you say "Awwwwww, how cute" or "You can see every little feather (hair, pore, blade of grass)" you are probably looking at bad art. It doesn't mean you can't enjoy it. It just means it doesn't belong in a museum.

I have been doing a lot of reading on the Italian Renaissance recently as I am preparing for a trip to Florence this spring. The Stones Of Florence by Mary McCarthy, while in general a terrible book, contained some tidbits of information that got me thinking. In particular that with the rise of wealth for a few merchant families who patronized artists, there was a concurrent rise of bad and simply sexually provocative art. (Art being the word that pornography often hides behind.)

Sometimes in my reverence for the great cultures of the world I forget to consider that they had their flaws too. I hope as I wander through the Uffizi and the Duomo I remember to keep it all in perspective and look with critical eyes. Were these artists the Thomas Kinkade or Peter Max of their age- spinning out product for their clammering public?

Celebrity Spotting- NH Style

I was walking in downtown Concord this past Thursday and saw a real live celebrity- Lorraine Merrill, Commissioner of Agriculture for the state of NH. It was one of those moments usually experienced in New York City. The sudden sense of recognizing the person in front of you and the overwhelming desire to shake their hand and say "I know you." You will be glad to know that I resisted. I can only imagine that Lorraine is somewhat relieved too.

Most people don't know the face of our Commissioner of Agriculture but my boyfriend happens to subscribe to the Weekly Market Bulletin. You can find it on most news racks next to People and Us. I generally check it out to see if any maple syrup condensers are for sale in Plainfield or working Corgi pups are ready to help me round up the sheep. I think the boyfriend likes to keep up with the wholesale cost of eggs. It is also an important source of gossip and info ready to help you identify people leaving the Legislative Office Buildings in Concord. Celebrity spotting in NH is light on the Versace and Prada and pretty heavy on down vests, jeans and muck boots. Puffy down outerwear tends to mask the sartorial accouterments of a celebrity so it is crucial to memorize the faces.